I’m not sure anyone had “prioritise design” on their Donald Trump bingo card. But last week the president issued an executive order promising to “improve our nation through better design.”
It created a National Design Studio and a new post of chief design officer, to which Airbnb co-founder Joe Gebbia has been appointed.
His first task is to redesign more than 20,000 government websites. Gebbia has said he aims to make official government services as “satisfying to use as the Apple Store: beautifully designed, great user experience, run on modern software … an experience that projects a level of excellence for our nation, and makes life less complicated for everyday Americans.”
The initiative has a new one-page website, with copy that makes sure to butter up the boss before getting down to business.
“What’s the biggest brand in the world?” it asks. Oh crikey, big question.
“If you said Trump, you’re not wrong.” Right, I didn’t, but…
“But what’s the foundation of that brand? One that’s more globally recognised than practically anything else.”
I feel like you’re going to tell me.
“It’s the nation…where he was born. It’s the United States of America.”
Why the ellipsis? Should we read it like Dermot announcing the results of an especially fraught X Factor elimination?
It builds from there to be honest, a puzzling mix of weird stuff, very sensible stuff, and a magnificently petty jibe at President Nixon.
Anyway, we quite like the idea of a chief design officer for the UK, so here are some possible candidates, should the Prime Minister decide to follow his trans-Atlantic mate’s example.
Sir Paul Smith
A Catherine wheel of optimism, creativity and fun, Sir Paul Smith would be a really popular choice. Almost nothing in our lives – banknotes, driving licences, the official UK border at Heathrow – wouldn’t be improved by the famous Paul Smith stripes.
Ben Terrett
As one of the driving forces behind the GOV.UK redesigns, and the creation of the Government Digital Service’s Government Design Principles, Terrett has been there, done that. He’s a safe pair of hands, like bringing in Big Sam to steer a troubled team away from relegation.
Teo Connor
If the US turned to Airbnb for its first chief design officer, should the UK just follow suit? Teo Connor is a great designer and a spirited, empathetic leader. Having revamped the entire Airbnb app earlier this year, one thinks sprucing up the DVLA website would be a walk in the park.
Max Ottignon
Few speak more stirringly about the power of design than Ragged Edge co-founder Max Ottignon. If he asked me to abandon my family and march with him into battle, I’d do so in a heartbeat. Hell, I’d be at front, carrying his sigil. He’s also quite handsome, which I feel could be useful?
LinkedIn Haters
Anyone who’s ever posted an old and a new logo side-by-side and written, “half a million pounds for this?!” No, that’s not how it works. And you know that. But wilful misunderstanding aside, fine. You’re up. Godspeed.
Margaret Calvert
A designer whose work shapes our public spaces to this day and marries the technical aspects of design with the emotional. I get the sense she’d definitely say no, which only makes her all the more suited to the position. Also, her Unit Editions monograph is coming out soon, and this would be a useful promo tool for that.
Sir Jony Ive
If we want stuff to look more like Apple, why not just go and get the guy who made Apple look like Apple? He might have a pretty sweet gig at OpenAI, but surely he’d be up for this challenge. It would also be fun to see how his sometimes-gnomic way of speaking goes down on The One Show.
Victoria Beckham
When I Googled “famous British designers” I was quite surprised to find Posh Spice on the list. But not only does she have a successful fashion label, she’s married to arguably one of the British cultural icons of the past 30 years. We also know from the Netflix doc – and the ensuing meme – that she’s not afraid to massage the truth, which our public figures tend to be good at.
Kevin McCloud
The Grand Designs host is a strong contender here. Understands design? Check. Good communicator? Check. Has a finely-honed sense of the British public, our ambitious foibles, ruinous dreams, and logistical shortcomings? Check, check and indeed check!
Lisa Smith
From Wolff Olins to JKR and now Uncommon Creative Studio, Lisa Smith has the CV to waltz into this role. She also stands out in the design world for her willingness to call out where she thinks things aren’t working – in a public, articulate, and punchily forthright way.
Mary Berry
Bear with me! Berry might feel like a leftfield choice, but I think she could be a chance worth taking. A bona fide national treasure, she has exacting standards and a twinkle in her eye. You could imagine her using a fruity double entendre when facing down a dour parliamentary select committee.
Gerry McGovern
As Jaguar Land Rover’s chief creative officer, McGovern must have thickened his skin no end in the past year. That bullishness should stand him in good stead for when the inevitable vitriol rains down on the government’s attempts to rebrand, I dunno, the police or something. This? This is nothing! I did Jaguar mate…